I confess that I intended to watch the World Cup a lot. But after listening to FIFA President Gianni Infantino, I swear I’ll watch two penguins play cornhole before I see the wonderful extravaganza of football.
The challenge is both football and the guilty clown. Infantino refuses to admit that FIFA may have selected a better host country than Qatar. In a pre-tournament speech on Saturday, he said any European who criticizes the resolution is a hypocrite.
“We apologize for the next 3,000 years before we start teaching ethics to people,” Infantino said.
There is no doubt that European history is littered with bad actors. But as far as I know, no country lately executes homosexuals or has been credibly accused of killing thousands of immigrant workers in a mad dash to build air-conditioned soccer stadiums so that Infantino and his cronies can sip Dom Perignon and count their bribes comfortably.
Meanwhile, Jose Six-Pack from Ecuador can’t even get a match of Bud Light.
At the last minute, Qatar reneged on its promise to allow beer to be sold in stadiums. That’s why Ecuadorian enthusiasts chanted “We want beer!”in Sunday’s opening game. Expect everyone to be arrested, whipped, and deported until Wednesday.
But rest assured, all the other crackpots who are dedicated to human rights. Infantino says he knows what it’s like to be discriminated against.
“When I was a kid at school, I bullied because I had red hair and freckles,” she said.
It is a shame that Qataris do not arrest other people who look like Howdy Doody. Infantino might be right if he spent a few days with people who really suffer persecution. . .
Stallion of the week: “Uncle Chen. ” It’s the call of a 50-year-old Chinese man who smoked a pack of cigarettes while running the Xin’anjiang marathon. He finished in 574th place among more than 1500 runners in a mind-blowing time of 3 hours and 26 minutes. minutes.
Stud II: Parker Valby, a UF sophomore who momentarily finished at the NCAA Cross Country Championship. And she did it without smoking a maiden cigarette. With all due respect to Montrell Johnson and Trevor Etienne, Valby is the campus runner.
Failure of the week: All FBS football groups in the state of Florida, FSU. Miami, UCF, USF, FIU, FAU and UF finished 0-6. Although at least none of them lost 63-38 to South Carolina.
Stud/Dud of the Week: Dwight Howard, who scored 38 points, 25 rebounds, nine assists and 4 blocks in his Taiwan T1 League debut. For his next round, Howard, 36, plans to run a marathon against all the Asian smokers at the chain that named Uncle Chen.
Imagine Department: After scoring zero points against Florida, South Carolina’s offense racked up touchdowns against Tennessee. The Gamecocks had scored only touchdowns all season.
This explains why Tennessee enthusiasts chanted “We need beer!”all the time. . .
Headline of the week: Yahoo!’s “Wimbledon Still Changes All White Rules for Women”Sports.
What is 1957?
It turns out that Wimbledon nevertheless allows colourful underpants, as long as they don’t have an image of Prince Andrew on their buttocks. . . .
The Washington Post reported that Fox would use a “minimum quota” to cover the World Cup until state-owned Qatar Airways offers loose flights to skill and technicians. Fox denied that he would be unduly influenced and said it was a mere coincidence that all the staff had missed their connecting flights in Dusseldorf. . . .
Raiders owner Mark Davis gave coach Josh McDaniel a vote of confidence last week, noting that “Rome wasn’t built in a day. “
According to Discovery Channel, it took Rome 800 years to succeed in its heyday after starting as an agricultural colony. Davis then announced that he would extend McDaniel’s contract through the 2821-2822 season.
Congratulations to the Australian Open, which reportedly lifted Novak Djokovic’s ban and allowed him to play even if he hasn’t won a covid-19 vaccine. In response, the U. S. Open The U. S. military said it could allow Djokovic to play if he uses a hazardous stick and doesn’t fit within six feet of a ball boy.
This Just In: The SEC announced that Tennessee’s loss was so bad that it will force volunteer enthusiasts to rebuild the goal posts they destroyed after the Alabama game.
Washington commanders sanctioned a handful of players for drinking from the charter space of last week’s game in Philadelphia. Legend has it that former cowboy Ed “Too Tall” Jones drank 48 beers on a flight back to Dallas from Philadelphia. not on Qatar Airways.
Disclaimer: Wimbledon will allow women to wear colourful underpants with images of Prince Andrews, as long as he poses next to Jeffrey Epstein.
The captains of six European groups gave up wearing OneLove anti-discrimination armbands on Monday after FIFA announced they would get yellow cards for such a display. on the bracelet. . . .
At his news conference Monday, Billy Napier said he would do it for the next 3,000 years by wasting against Kentucky and Vanderbilt in the same season.
That’s pretty much all the space we have for Whitley’s Believe It or Not this week. Until next week, have a Thanksgiving Day drink for football tourists in Qatar. They want it.
David Whitley is the sports journalist for the Gainesville Sun. Contact him at dwhitley@gannett. com. Follow him on Twitter @DavidEWhitley