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Photo: Belathée Photography
Sometimes, the most productive destination wedding doesn’t take place in a remote location, but in a place where you already call home. Today, many couples around the world choose, for various reasons, to get married in the comfort of their own homes. A home wedding can vary greatly in terms of format and embellishments, from undeniable gatherings to more elaborate affairs. Motivations also differ from couple to couple, ranging from sentimental to situational to thrift reasons. Generally a more practical wedding DIY technique for weddings is gaining popularity. A study by Barclay found that 91% of couples surveyed in the UK apply a DIY technique to at least one aspect of their wedding, whether it’s creating certain pieces themselves or asking friends and family for help. outside.
For Ivey Redding and Josh Warren, it was purely sentimental. Simply put, they didn’t need to get married anywhere else. Their nuptials lasted a weekend at her parents’ home in Georgia. “Josh, my husband, and I spent a lot of time “Especially when my dad was in poor health (he had ALS), we spent a lot of time with my parents during COVID and helped them take care of him. Weddings can become such a production, but having the privacy of your home, or the place where you grew up, is really valuable. I wouldn’t have done it any other way. There are also the added benefits of being able to stop at your wedding venue whenever you need to. “When we get home and make a stopover, we walk across the lawn and think, ‘Oh, we got married here,'” she adds.
Flora Soames and her husband Alexander “Blondie” Macdonald-Buchanan also tied the knot in a house in England. “We had very clear concepts about what mattered to us. I’m very fortunate to have grown up in this beautiful position in North Norfolk and it was at the center of my upbringing and it’s the center of all of our families,” she says. Having him at home was a no-brainer. It’s like an extension of us.
In the case of Ashley Reese and Rob Stengel, their marriage at home was a matter of circumstance. “This was expected literally within a week, because about a week earlier, on October 7, 2022, I learned that my husband’s cancer was getting worse. competitive and it wasn’t going to get better,” Reese says. In the beginning, we were looking to do anything at home that was small, with maybe another 20 people at most. That list ended up containing more than a hundred more people. Luckily, one of Rob’s friends, Shina Bharadwaja, delighted in making wedding plans and helped them organize the event. “I still have moments where I’m like, ‘How the hell did we do that?’We did this with a lot of help,” Reese adds.
The pandemic has disrupted many couples’ wedding plans. Project Runway is judging best-selling author Elaine Welteroth and married musician Jonathan Singletary on his Bed-Stuy staircase in a socially distanced wedding on May 10, 2020. The date was vital to them because it represented the couple literally feeling in a position for it. the next break in their lives and it was also Mother’s Day, which was a nod to their moms who met in their church choir when they were 12 years old. Welteroth remembers telling her now-husband, “Even if I have to marry you in my pajamas, on our fucking front porch, I’ll marry you on 5/10/20,” and so they did. In his case, doing something so simple was a blessing in disguise. “When the global stopped and we were left to fend for ourselves, everything extra vanished and we were left with the essentials,” he says. “It allowed us to reorient the whole rite around what literally worries us and the things that literally make us happy,” Welteroth says.
Joey Teixeira and Michael Keeney’s home wedding wasn’t their plan A either. After a series of unfortunate events — COVID cancellations, illness, and then an abnormal snowstorm — prevented them from meeting at the Met on their original date, they made a decision. to celebrate their rite in their Upper West Side apartment. “Looking back, I’d say that to myself because, despite all the changes, it surely ended up being perfect,” Teixeira says. “It wouldn’t have replaced anything. “
In addition to the sentimental and circumstantial whys, there is another explanation for getting married at home: the economic one. Anna and Mark Newton held their wedding reception at their two-bedroom apartment in London. “The concept was that we would have some kind of explanation. “of the wedding day on a budget so we can have a smart honeymoon. Our honeymoon lasted almost a month in New Zealand, it was just amazing and once in a lifetime,” she says. We trusted our guts and it was the best thing for us. “
Saving cash on your wedding day means you can spend it on the things that matter to you, whether it’s a honeymoon or a down payment on a space. “All that money we were spending to spend on a wedding, we used as a down payment. payment for our first combined space that we bought in October,” says Welteroth. Regarding the trend of home weddings, she hopes that her own rite “inspires other people to do great things in their own way and know that you don’t have to file for bankruptcy in order to have a lovely wedding, even outside of the pandemic. “Welteroth continues, “There are a lot of tactics to make it special. Find where you need to invest and concentrate everything around your intention. Keep the essentials as the essentials.
While each of those marriages is unique, in talking to each couple, recurring themes emerged in their experiences. They then reveal what they liked and what they wish they had known before starting the process. Read on for their tips for hosting. Your own wedding at home.
Size is an important, if not the most important, factor when planning a home wedding. For the Newtons, the length of their apartment dictated how many more people they could invite. “It’s a two-bedroom apartment and controlled to space out another 27 people there. It was a little tight,” he said. The guest list is complicated for small, intimate weddings. We had to be a little strict: just parents, siblings and grandparents. Today, 8 years after the wedding, she has no regrets. “I don’t think years later everyone is participating. in a non-public vendetta against me,” Anna says. “I think a lot of other people are a lot more understanding than you might expect. “
Space was definitely a priority for Reese and Stengel when they celebrated their wedding in their Brooklyn brownstone apartment. “Space becomes an issue, especially if you’re looking to invite a lot of people,” he says. “You have to be cautious in how you organize things. Even the most fundamental things, like setting up chairs, counting each and every little thing, doing this and that, are more important tasks for you. On their wedding day, each and every one of them was on deck moving furniture and making space.
Reflecting on their wedding at their Upper West Side apartment, Teixeira notes that “if you live in an apartment building, you have to worry about your neighbors, the noise, and when you do it. We live in a walk-up building [with] only 8 apartments, so it’s a quiet build and we had the space to do it. They can comfortably fit about twenty more people in their apartment, so that’s the number of visitors to the intimate ceremony.
Choosing which component of your home to use is also a vital decision. For Welteroth and Singletary, his entrance was the center of attention. ” It sounds strangely profound, yet during the pandemic, we’ve called our entrance a portal to the divine,” says Welteroth. We didn’t have a garden, so our only outdoor area was our front porch. So, while we were cooped up in our house, we would go to our front porch and play music, especially the song “Happy Feelings. “” through Frankie, Beverly and Maze – and dance. I wanted our wedding to look like this, multiplied by 10. I immediately knew that the only place I wanted to invest was to turn our entrance into this magical altar that looked sacred and beautiful. To make this vision a reality, the couple worked with Lewis Miller Design to build a striking floral display on their front porch for the ceremony.
At Redding and Warren’s wedding, fitting their 100-foot dream table into their curved aisle was a difficult task. “The tables were set up the day before because the hallway was curved, so we had to create connection issues for each of the tables we had rented them. Our city maintenance staff built them for us,” says Redding. Although he required a little advance planning to get it right, the end result was amazing.
The concept that hands make hard work smooth was a recurring motif for each and every couple. Planning and organizing a wedding at home can be a huge task and should not be done alone. Reese and Stengel’s wedding was an organizational effort, and she wouldn’t have imagined it any other way.
“Our wedding couldn’t have happened without our network and, in fact, it wouldn’t have been as elegant as it would have been without them. We were ready not to have a lovely wedding, but my friends helped me make things better to make it happen. happen,” Reese said. Fortunately, he had almost nothing to do because Shina took over. She said, “I’m going to ask you to make a minimum number of calls,” because it was also the same week that Rob was in hospice at my house. I think because of the uniqueness of the situation, other people came to help us.
Involving close friends and family, especially those who enjoy weddings and events, is one way to ease the burden. Even if you have a clear idea of what you want, having someone to help you achieve it makes the day more enjoyable. “I have a wonderful friend who runs a planning business and she helped me set it up,” Soames says. “I knew what I wanted it to look like, so from a taste standpoint, we covered it and Aunt Rose led the floral side, which was a lot. “
Planning assistance is essential, however, some couples may have needed more help on the day of the event. Redding admits it would have been great to have more hands on the wedding day. “It would have been great to have someone in charge “Even for a small wedding at home, it might have been helpful to ask someone to help her manage this day in a more convenient way. “.
Thankfully, his family rose to the challenge. “I left my whole family to set up this 30-meter-long table,” Redding recalls. “They did a wonderful job. One of my cousins is very artistic. and smart at tablecloth work, so I thought, “Can you fix this?I didn’t even explain to him what I wanted him to look like. It’s imperative to have other people you consider loyal to execute the details. “.
Welteroth and Singletary’s wedding was also a collaboration with close friends. Everyday People’s spouse Sinclair Bolden and musician Adeline Bolden were instrumental in making plans for their special day. “Imagine being stuck in a pandemic and ending up making plans for your own wedding on your front porch and the only other two people you do it with are the fucking event makers of the dumbest events you’ve ever been to, and then the other one is a musician and a DJ,” he says. “Every detail of our wedding fell into place and felt right. It is this divine orchestration of our network that has combined to make all of this take a stand.
For artistic couples, hosting a wedding at home is a wonderful opportunity to put their talents to smart use. In Redding’s case, it was a real hard labor of love. “I love hosting parties and making plans in general, so this seemed like a great art project,” she says. “My mom and I are very DIYy. We decided, for some reason, instead of renting serving trays, to go to the local flea markets and buy some old stoneware and antique plates that we liked. All the napkins were my mother’s matching white napkins and we collected many chandeliers from antique shops. It was just a whole project, which was fun.
Soames, who is an interior and textile designer, also appreciated the opportunity to personalize the occasion. “I sense that there are times in life when you just don’t have the bandwidth, but to me, I’m a detail-oriented person. “It was important to put our logo on it. The end result was an event all their own. ” Every moment was very private to us. And while it was all incredibly special and, in many ways, very opulent, being at home made it feel very personalized but also quite casual at times,” she adds.
Holding the wedding at home also made the occasion more welcoming for the children. “We had 17 bridesmaids and pages because Blondie and I have a lot of godchildren, nieces and nephews. They were the center of the occasion,” Soames recalls. “After church time, we had our reception at my parents’ house, which is a very immersive house, and I sought to make other people feel like they were entering a house where they can relax, sit on the couch, take off their shoes. and feel that sense of welcome and belonging.
Adding a non-public touch is not only imaginable for decoration, but it can also replace what you do on the occasion. That’s precisely what the Newtons did. ” We actually did a pub contest,” Anna says. It seems like rarely at weddings are there weird moments where you literally don’t know what to do. So we put other people together in groups and they all literally became competitive. Then the drinks flowed and we bought pizzas.
Opting for an at-home wedding also allows you to come with your four-legged guests. “My pets were going to be there and it wasn’t very stressful,” says Teixeira, director of philanthropy for the American Society for the Prevention of Cruelty. to the animals. ” As a true animal welfare enthusiast, I tend to adopt older animals that possibly have other behaviors or medical issues. Two of our cats are blind and we had two very small dogs with behavioral problems. The animals had to participate on occasions at home when they would not have been able to go to a more classic enclosure.
Just because your wedding is at home doesn’t mean it doesn’t have to be special. For some couples, decorating their space was the most important thing. For others, splurging on the photographer of their dreams was where they were looking to spend money. In any case, each couple clarified what they were doing and they did not fail to reach an agreement.
For Teixeira and Keeney, making their area different from other days was the most sensible priority. “I was like, ‘If we’re going to do it in the department, it has to be special and not just in our department. This is where décor can make a difference. “I discovered those long rows of Christmas light fixtures that we wrapped around part of the apartment and I bought 75 of those little electric votive items and put them everywhere. “
Decorations don’t have to be expensive to make an impact. Reese used a mix of more expensive suppliers with less expensive fabrics to give the area a whole new look. “Some of the banners in the background of our main wedding photo and booth are from Amazon,” he says. “Amazon’s décor combined with a fancy celebrity florist combined with a Costco cake is an intellectual and vulgar wedding and I think it’s the best thing for us as well. “
When it comes to decorating, you can splurge on some facets and save on others. “It’s not necessarily one small detail or another. It’s about what you do with what you have. And luckily, I have a lot of artistic friends,” he says. Reese. The flowers helped a lot. It’s quite strange the effect they’ve had. There were flowers everywhere and the front that visitors came in through was amazing. One of Reese and Stengel’s friends gave them his photographs and flowers made by Pejy Kash. “I know flowers are very expensive, but I will say that they actually increased the space,” she says.
Flowers were also a very vital facet for Soames. “I collaborated with this floral designer, Aunt Rose, who lives in the countryside near my house,” she says. “It was amazing in terms of scale, foraging and completely seasonal use. “flowers. It was very naturalistic: to make the internal an extension of what was happening outside.
For Redding, who is a wedding photographer and videographer, finding the right user to capture her day is of utmost importance. “Documentation is probably the area I give the most importance to in terms of budget. “She comes out. ” I discovered this photographer that I’ve been following for some time now called Hannah Shea and she’s amazing. She filmed most of the wedding and I am very pleased with the outcome of the photographs. They look very timeless and special.
Warren also felt the same way about investing in a collaboration with the photographer of his dreams. “In my opinion, if you happen to spend money, documentation is really vital, more vital than flowers or even food,” she says. “Documentation is the most important thing, because people may not forget what they ate, but you can go back to photographs. “The photographs of Teixeira and Keeney taken by Rachel Leiner are the ones they will treasure forever. .
As with any wedding, things are bound to go wrong, no matter what you plan ahead. Having your wedding at home means there’s even more room for error, so it’s a threat that shouldn’t be taken lightly. As Redding explains, “If you’re getting married in a certain place, they’ve already done it and they’ve taken care of all the logistics. For a home wedding, there are random things to do.
However, just because there’s more to think about for a home wedding doesn’t necessarily mean it will be a stressful experience. “There’s still paintings to be done, especially the week before and also dismantling all of that. In one place, you can drive and it’s no longer your problem,” says Soames. But he doesn’t see that as an explanation for getting discouraged. ” If you need to enjoy the occasion to the fullest and have a home that lends itself to any type of wedding, I think it’s a great non-public extension of what you’re doing, whether it’s the wedding itself and the experience as a whole.
The unappealing facets of making plans for an occasion come with thinking about bathroom capacity, cleaning everything before and after, avoiding noise ordinances, and worrying about electrical outlets. At a home wedding, no one is guilty of those things that you and your partner do. “”The only regret I have is that we didn’t have the foresight to remove one of my beautiful rugs from this brand, Alfie,” he says. “It was the most expensive rug I’ve ever bought and now it has the best fried fish. “sauce stains. So my recommendation is to make sure that all the carpets are gone.
Welteroth sees the stricter constraints of a home wedding as a positive, not a negative. “I hope that other people will continue to be encouraged to think outside the box in their weddings and not let cultural or budgetary constraints limit their creativity. “For us, the more powerful the constraints, the more creativity there is,” he argues. “It’s not about the designer dress. It’s not a big, cozy room. It’s not even about the food. We hadn’t eaten at our wedding, and that’s not what other people think.
Originally in Architectural Digest