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Amy Dickinson
Dear Amy: My husband and I have been together for 16 years, during which time he has been obsessed with getting a back massage. Specifically, it’s his back, legs (if we’re sitting on the couch), and even his neck in the car. I’m an emotion for people. I did it to show him that I enjoyed it, and it’s become the norm.
Fast forward to two kids, a running space, and a full-time coaching job, and I can’t bear our combined free time asking me to constantly rub his back and legs.
We have other issues in our appointments that I am handling with an advisor.
I had the concept that once those disorders were resolved, I hate the concept of being a massage therapist at my husband’s house.
However, after telling him no, and seeing him pout, I realize that I have just finished this act of service for him.
I need to sit next to him again without the anger I feel when he asks me to do this for him. My husband says this “time together” is what makes him feel loved.
If so, am I hurting my wedding by refusing to spend our time together massaging your back?- Burnt Out Wife
Dear Burnt Out: If being your husband’s “home masseuse” is the act of service that makes him feel loved, what is your act of service that makes her feel loved?I suppose it can be something as undeniable as allowing you to approach quietly without forcing you to do anything in particular; In short, let yourself do and act as you want.
There’s no doubt that other people in intimate relationships serve each other, and it’s helpful to recognize the things your spouse might be doing, without asking, that make you feel loved.
The demand, the waiting, the pout (on their part) and the rage (of yours) make it seem less like an act of service than a toll to pay. You do this to avoid a negative reaction, rather than to motivate a positive one. one.
It would be helpful to ask your husband if he can call other things you do that make him feel loved.
Or read “The Five Love Languages: The Secret of Love That Lasts” through Gary Chapman (2015, Northfield Publishing).
Dear Amy: With mobile phones containing thousands of images, I found myself hostage to other people looking for pictures on their phones.
These are the other people who, in the middle of a conversation, get excited to show a specific image. Often, they have to scroll and scroll and scroll to find it. When they still do, they point their phone at your face. without asking if you would like to see their photos.
It only interrupts the conversation, but it is also very annoying to stand there and watch them grope and groping.
How can I unintentionally prevent this photo-thrust ritual over the phone?
Smiling and looking at a photo only serves to motivate them to look for more. -Tired
Dear Tired: I have those annoying interruptions like “The Dead See Scrolls”.
You might say, “Hey, why don’t you text me with this picture later?That way we can keep talking.
Readers have more suggestions. I will gladly guide you.
Amy Dickinson can askamy@amydickinson. com
Today’s birthday (03/11/22): Get physical strength, fitness and power this year. Stable domestic practices create structures for success. Personal breakthroughs shine this fall, before winter adaptations solve a couple problem. Winning physical or fitness prizes next spring motivates Summer Development. Your body, strength and paint are strengthened.
For the advantage, check the score of the day: 10 is the day, 0 the hardest.
Aries (March 21 to April 19) – Today is a 7 – Not everything is as it seems. Retreat to your sanctuary to prepare. Conserve resources to save time and money. Keep an eye on the news and adapt plans.
Taurus (April 20 to May 20) – Today is a 7 – Be diplomatic and discreet among friends. Support others with unforeseen changes. Talk about possible solutions. Take advantage of hidden resources.
Gemini (May 21-June 20) – Today is an 8 – Keep an eye out for the latest news in your industry or profession. Recent adjustments may require adaptation. Hidden opportunities abound. Make plans to make your dream task come true.
Cancer (June 21 to July 22) – Today is an 8 – Unforeseen deviations can reveal treasures. Keep a brain open and remain flexible. Synchronicity explodes when you least expect it. Explore and investigate a fascination.
Leo (July 23-August 22) – Today is an 8 – Communication, coordination and teamwork can produce lucrative results. Take advantage of the right conditions. Don’t press. Look for a stroke of luck and that.
Virgo (Aug 23-Sep 22) – Today is an 8 – Connect with your spouse on a deeper level. Give in to spontaneous temptations. Take the opportunity. Coordinate and synchronize.
Libra (September 23 to October 22) – Today is an 8 – Discuss center issues with your confidence. Prioritize your work, fitness and fitness. Dreams can come true. Don’t press. Plan and programme objectives.
Scorpio (October 23 to November 21) -Today is nine- Express your creativity, hobby and hobby. Artistic endeavors flourish. It articulates dreams and visions of what might be possible. Share them with you love.
Sagittarius (November 22 to December 21) – Today is an 8 – Home improvement projects embellish and form a circle of family harmony. Discuss your vision. It is obtained more with honey than with vinegar. Invite without pressure. Listen and learn.
Capricorn (December 22 to January 19) – Today is a nine – Communication channels are wide open. Coordinate and talk about options, perspectives, and opportunities. Solutions stand out in the conversation. Words go beyond action. Discover the opportunities.
Aquarius (January 20 to February 18): Today is a nine: discover lucrative relationships in communication. The unexpected ones are revealed in the conversation. Discuss the possibilities. Negotiate and negotiate terms. Wheel and box. Connect successful dots.
Pisces (February 1-March 20) – Today is a nine – Talk about what you like. Words go beyond deeds. Don’t press. Take advantage of a spontaneous possibility. Create and expand an exciting idea.
—Tribune Content Agency
Today’s Highlights
On November 3, 1986, the Iran-Contra affair was published as Ash-Shiraa, a pro-Syrian Lebanese magazine, for the first time in the history of U. S. arms sales to Iran.
On this day
In 1908, Republican William Howard Taft was elected president, beating Democrat William Jennings Bryan.
In 1911, Chevrolet Motor Car Co. se founded in Detroit through Louis Chevrolet and William C. During. (The company acquired through General Motors in 1918. )
In 1961, President John F. Kennedy created the United States Agency for International Development.
In 1970, Salvador Allende is named president of Chile.
In 1976, the horror film “Carrie,” adapted from Stephen King’s novel and starring Sissy Spacek, was released through United Artists.
In 1979, members of the Communist Workers Party were killed in a clash with Ku Klux Klan members and heavily armed neo-Nazis at an anti-Klan demonstration in Greensboro, North Carolina.
In 1992, Democrat Bill Clinton elected the 42nd president of the United States, defeating President George H. W. In Illinois, Democrat Carol Moseley-Braun became the first black woman elected to the U. S. Senate.
In 1994, Susan Smith of Union, South Carolina, was arrested for drowning her two young sons, Michael and Alex, nine days after claiming the youngsters had been kidnapped by a black jacker.
In 1997, the Supreme Court allowed California’s groundbreaking Proposition 209, which banned racial and sexual preferences in hiring and admissions, to stand.
In 2014, thirteen years after the Sept. 11 terrorist attack, a new 1,776-foot skyscraper opened above the World Trade Center, marking an emotional milestone for New Yorkers and the nation.
In 2020, Democrat Joe Biden won the presidency in an election in which more than 103 million Americans voted early, many by mail, amid a coronavirus pandemic that ended a crusade marked by concern and resentment, waged amid protests against racial injustice. the count continued in the battleground states, Biden’s victory would only be known for more than 3 days; Republican President Donald Trump reportedly refuses to back down and falsely claims he was the victim of widespread voter fraud. Kamala Harris made history as the first woman, black user and South Asian descendant to become vice president. Democrats won two years más. de the House still saw their majority shrink.
– Associated Press
A Eurostar at St Pancras Station, London
Europe remains attractive enough to justify the industry’s current positive outlook. Yes, there are some important and annoying questions and issues, but that’s true for any trip. If you’re making plans to cross the Atlantic next spring, here’s my opinion.
Airlines
American, Canadian and European airlines are positive about Europe; They’ve combined busy schedules for the fall and have an incredibly ambitious flight roster for spring and early summer. It will have higher frequencies for normal problems, as well as nonstop stops to some places that have not had nonstop service. before.
Overall, airfares are on the rise, unsurprisingly, but bargains are still to be found. Norse Atlantic maintains a physically powerful winter schedule, with low one-way promotional fares and a premium economy that starts well below the premium economy that calls for peak line costs in mid-October. . The message is blunt: Norse helps keep rates as low as possible.
Despite opposition from airlines, passenger protections in EC 261 are in place in the EU and the UK continues to respect the rule after Brexit.
The annoying challenge here, however, is that most nonstop transatlantic flights next spring will come from New York/JFK or Newark, both of which will ultimately offer unpleasant and expensive jobs for original and connecting passengers.
local trip
If you’re making plans to travel to several other countries, look for a train service first, and if you’re planning long trips, look for the Eurail pass that best suits your needs. Some European countries are really pushing visitors to board exercises, not short-haul airlines: France has banned short-haul domestic air service altogether on routes where a 21/2-hour rail option is available, and I expect to see similar movements from other areas. In my book, the French are too cautious: I found that exercise time is competitive with flying for trips of up to five or six hours, and much more pleasant and comfortable.
The annoying challenge with train travel is the possibility of movements and stops. Britain in particular will likely revel in repetitions of the challenges it faced in the autumn.
Hotels
If you’re heading to Europe, you’re more likely to face a surprise label with hotel rates than airfares. My recent vacations were planned, cancelled, and rescheduled multiple times during COVID, and the same remains higher (hotels and dates) up to 15% to 20% over the two-year period. To keep prices low in Europe, you can step a notch below the same old practice without unduly damaging your mind. But low-end city hotels can be pretty depressing; Instead, consider a vacation in places where you can locate those glorious little circles of family-friendly hotels with perfect cuisines. I’ve been very lucky in Grindelwald, Switzerland, and Rothenburg, Germany, and it’s replicable everywhere.
The annoying problem with small, low-end hotels is that some may be missing a feature you consider essential. In my case, it’s an elevator. Most search engines allow you to eliminate those needs.
cash and credit
As I have pointed out in previous dispatches, plastic is king in Europe, even more than here. I met my first “no money accepted” convenience store in St. Pancras from London, where I looked to buy a bottle of Sprite. : As I laboriously counted my British coins, the assistant casually informed me: “We don’t accept money here; Use your card. “And debit cards had gladly made the transactions, at no additional cost.
The annoying challenge with plastic is getting the plastic right. As I have pointed out many times, you can avoid foreign exchange and gouge losses through a foreign surcharge-free credit card and a debit card with no transaction fees with a foreign bank. If you are a foreign traveler and do not yet have such cards, get them.
Email Ed Perkins at eperkins@mind. net. See also Ed’s new train online page in www. rail-guru. com.
Lori Borgman
We have been a dryer for about 24 days, six hours, 44 minutes and 22 seconds. But who counts?
When the dryer stopped working, we did what we do when an appliance fails. I informed the husband. Then he took out the dryer, checked the outlet, operated the circuit breaker several times, pressed the dryer start button a dozen times, put the dryer back in place, and said in an unbiased tone: “Nothing lasts like before. “. . “
These are our house skills at full speed.
I moved on to step 2, which is to call the appliance repairers. Call after call, it’s the same story: staffing problems, consumers on hold, and the onset of bloodless weather had generated many calls to fine-tune and repair the furnace.
The earliest one can succeed in us 3 weeks. I tore it up like the last chocolate chip cookie on a hot baking sheet.
In the meantime, I install anything on the terrace or lawn to dry clothes, but we love our neighbors. They are not the kind of people we would traumatize with our private belongings waving in the wind.
I remembered a friend who had lived abroad talking about hanging clothes because most places they lived didn’t have dryers. He hung ropes in the living room and spread clothes to dry.
Our dry hanging stands are in a bathroom that gets plenty of sunlight (the shower bar can hold 15 hangers), the app cabinet that houses the oven, and a recently purchased folding stand.
This is a convenient system, as long as bath towels that look like metal wool cause you trouble.
I am saying that hanging clothes is rigid, but we no longer fold the garments, we fold them.
We no longer want a brush to scrub food stuck on baking dishes. An air-dried tea towel is rough enough to clean any baking dish and sand the kitchen table we were looking to renovate.
The genuine advantage is that our complexion has never been healthier. We have roses on our cheeks. You would do this if you washed your face with a Brilo tampon.
We can wear our clothes one or two days longer than usual. Who knows? Maybe 3 or four. What I do know is that last night the husband’s jeans went to the laundry basket.
Device repairers were scheduled to arrive last week. They called Monday at 8 a. m. sharp, saying they couldn’t come. A technician injured his knee this weekend, one has COVID-19 and is starting his vacation.
I would bury my head in the sleeve of my sweater and cry, but the sweater is so rough that I would scratch my face.
We postponed. We were lucky enough to locate who can come in two weeks.
Lori Borgman is a columnist and speaker. His e-book “What Happens at Grandma’s Stays at Grandma’s” is now available. Email them to lori@loriborgman. com.
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